Stephen: No, it may be called “The Red Planet,” but it isn’t red, I’m afraid. It’s actually brown.
Alan: Rusty brown.
Stephen: It’s brown-y brown, really.
Stephen: No, it only appears red sometimes because of the dust in, er, in . . . in . . . in . . . in the atmosphere; in fact, its landscape is a very boring brown colour. According—
Alan: Why are we going there? What’s the fucking point?
Stephen: You are . . . you are just unbelievable . . . Yes. I see. Right. I refuse to rise to the bait . . . All right.
Alan: [complacently snacks on a blue sweet]
Stephen: According to New Scientist, actually, the most recent pictures of Mars, issued by NASA, were tweaked by sort of a, you know—
Stephen: —using filters, and Photoshop, exactly . . .
Alan: Britney Spears on it…